Therapy Blog - Emotionally Immature Parents

My mother: 

-Invalidates my feelings 

-Does Blame-Shifting 

-Doesn't apologize 

-Makes everything about her 

-Yells and screams 

-Slams doors 

-Unable to regulate emotions 

-Is full of hate 

I am learning so much! 

Maybe God put me here for a season so that I can confront this issue head on, recognize what is really going on and heal once and for all. It helps so much to be able to see my mother for what she is, an emotionally immature woman.  I feel like I've been lifted up out of a dark chaotic world. 

My goal is to be able to recognize her issues and work to unlearn all the incorrect ways to handle, well everything, that she has modeled to me all of my life. 

Therapy Blog - Dreams

Asking AI to interpret a dream I had last night. 

July 13, 2026  

Monday 

Today

Could you interpret a dream I had?

Absolutely — tell me what happened in the dream, and I’ll walk through the symbolism, the psychology, and the emotional patterns it might be pointing to. Dream interpretation works best when I can see the details, the mood, and anything that stood out to you.

Just describe it in your own words, even if it feels random or strange.

I was trying to find a rent house to move in to for me and my son. I found a very small two-bedroom house with one bathroom. It was very clean, but you could see the outside through the corners of the rooms. In the dream I acknowledged that this was good, but I thought I could go ahead and rent it and just fix the corners myself. I remember telling my son all about it. And I heard myself say the words, but it only has one bathroom and my son said yeah. The tone to this was that it was something we didn't want but might have to live with. We would rather have two bathrooms. Then my son and I were driving around. I wanted to show him the house. But I couldn't find it. Also, we were going to get in the car, but it was a car I don't have in real life. It looked weird. Kind of like a jeep but with a propeller on the hood. We got in and I was driving and I pushed a button and the vehicle could fly. I felt us lift off but then I took us back down. I was being cautious. I did this twice. Then the dream changed and I was at a house, and my ex-boyfriend David was there. He was staying there for the weekend. And he had a little girl with him who doesn't exist in real life. She was running around and we were watching her. I got the feeling that my ex was just tolerating me being there. He wasn't feeling well. He wasn't really giving me the attention I desired. Then I was at my house, and I was on the phone with him asking if I could cover over and I got the feeling he was just humoring me. His voice was faded ...... like I could barely hear him speak. He was going home the next day, and I was begging him to stay one more day so we could spend some time together. There was no resolution. Then I woke up.

Here’s the core of your dream, Stacy: you’re navigating two parallel emotional landscapes — responsibility and longing — and both are showing you where you feel stretched, unseen, or unsure. I’ll break it down piece by piece so you can see the patterns clearly.

🏠 The small house with one bathroom

Takeaway: This symbolizes making do, compromise, and feeling like you’re settling for less than you want — but still trying to stay practical and hopeful.

Key elements:

• Small, clean house: Something in your life feels “acceptable” but not ideal. You’re trying to create stability.

• Seeing the outside through the corners: This is powerful imagery. It suggests:

  • Vulnerability

  • Lack of protection

  • Feeling exposed or unsupported

• You telling yourself you could fix it: You’re used to being the one who patches things, holds things together, or makes imperfect situations livable.

• Only one bathroom: A symbol of inconvenience or limitation. You and your son acknowledging it shows shared resilience but also shared disappointment.

Emotional meaning: You’re trying to build a stable life, but the options in front of you feel incomplete. You’re willing to work hard to fix things, but you’re tired of having to.

🚗 The strange flying vehicle

This part shifts the tone — it’s about capability, potential, and caution.

Symbolism:

• A vehicle you don’t own: A new path or opportunity you haven’t taken yet.

• Propeller on the hood: Something unconventional, unexpected, maybe even a little risky.

• You lift off twice but come back down:

  • You can rise above your current situation.

  • You know you have the ability to change your life in a big way.

  • But you’re cautious — maybe afraid of instability, judgment, or making the wrong move.

Emotional meaning: You’re capable of more than you’re allowing yourself to do right now. You’re testing your wings, but you haven’t committed to flying yet.

💔 Your ex, David

This is the emotional heart of the dream.

Key elements:

• He’s tolerating you, not welcoming you: You feel like you’re giving more than you’re receiving.

• He has a child who doesn’t exist:

  • Symbol of emotional distance

  • Something new in his life that doesn’t include you

  • A representation of him investing energy elsewhere

• His voice fading:

  • Communication fading

  • Emotional connection fading

  • You trying to hold onto something slipping away
    

• You begging him to stay one more day:

  • You’re craving reciprocity

  • You want closure, reassurance, or proof that you matter

  • But the dream gives you none — because you’re not getting it in real life either

Emotional meaning: Your subconscious is replaying the dynamic of wanting someone who isn’t showing up for you. It’s highlighting the imbalance, the longing, and the exhaustion of chasing emotional crumbs.

🔗 How the two dream themes connect

Your dream ties your practical life (the house) with your emotional life (David):

• In both, you’re trying to make something work that isn’t giving you what you need.

• In both, you’re accepting less than you deserve because you’re afraid of losing stability or connection.

• In both, you’re doing the fixing, the accommodating, the reaching.

• And in both, you’re not being met halfway.

The flying car is the bridge between these two worlds — it shows your potential to rise above both situations, but also your hesitation.

⭐ The dream’s message

Your subconscious is saying:

“You’re capable of more, you deserve more, and you know it — but you’re afraid to step into the unknown.”

It’s not judging you. It’s showing you:

• where you feel unsupported

• where you feel unseen

• where you’re settling

• and where you’re ready to grow

The lack of resolution at the end is intentional. It mirrors the lack of resolution you feel with David and maybe with your current life circumstances.

If you want, I can go deeper into:

• the symbolism of your son in the dream

• why the house couldn’t be found again

• what the flying vehicle says about your next chapter

• or what your subconscious is trying to push you toward emotionally

Just tell me which part you want to explore.

Can we explore the symbolism of your son in the dream why the house couldn’t be found again what the flying vehicle says about your next chapter or what your subconscious is trying to push you toward emotionally

Let’s go deeper, Stacy — because the symbols you chose in this dream weren’t random. They’re emotionally intelligent, and they reveal exactly where your heart and mind are trying to guide you right now.

I’ll break each part down clearly and meaningfully.

👦 1. The symbolism of your son

Your son in the dream represents two things at once:

A. Your grounded, real-life responsibilities

He’s the part of your life that keeps you practical, steady, and focused on what truly matters. When he agrees with you about the house having “only one bathroom,” it shows:

• shared reality

• shared disappointment

• shared resilience

It’s your subconscious acknowledging: “I’m not doing this alone. My choices affect him too.”

B. Your inner protector

In dreams, children often symbolize the part of you that needs safety, stability, and nurturing. Your son’s presence means:

• you’re trying to build a life that feels secure

• you’re aware of what you must prioritize

• you’re trying to make choices that won’t hurt your future

He’s your emotional compass in the dream.

🏠 2. Why the house couldn’t be found again

This is one of the most telling symbols.

The house represents:

• a potential future

• a new chapter

• a place of stability

But you couldn’t find it again. That usually means:

A. You’re searching for stability but don’t know where it is yet

You’re trying to locate the “right place” in your life — emotionally, financially, relationally — but it feels elusive.

B. You’re afraid of choosing the wrong thing

The house was imperfect but workable. Losing track of it symbolizes:

• uncertainty

• fear of settling

• fear of missing out on something better

C. You’re in a transition phase

Your subconscious is saying: “The next chapter isn’t fully formed yet. You’re still looking for it.”

🚁 3. What the flying vehicle says about your next chapter

This part is powerful.

A strange vehicle you don’t own — with a propeller — that can fly?

That’s not chaos. That’s potential.

A. You’re capable of rising above your current situation

Flying symbolizes:

• freedom

• elevation

• new perspective

• empowerment

You lifted off twice. That means:

• you’re testing your abilities

• you’re exploring new possibilities

• you’re proving to yourself you can rise

B. But you’re cautious

You came back down both times. That shows:

• fear of instability

• fear of losing control

• fear of making a leap without a safety net

Your subconscious is saying: “You’re ready to grow, but you’re still holding onto the ground.”

C. The vehicle isn’t one you own

This means your next chapter may involve:

• a new environment

• a new opportunity

• a new identity

• a new way of living

Something unfamiliar but promising.

❤️‍🩹 4. What your subconscious is pushing you toward emotionally

This is the deepest layer.

Your dream is showing you a contrast:

• You and your son = connection, responsibility, shared reality

• You and David = longing, imbalance, emotional scarcity

Your subconscious is pushing you toward:

A. Emotional reciprocity

You want someone who:

• shows up

• listens

• chooses you

• values you

• doesn’t fade out when you reach for them

David’s fading voice symbolizes emotional withdrawal. You’re trying to hold onto something that isn’t holding onto you.

B. Self-worth

The dream is highlighting:

• where you’re settling

• where you’re over-giving

• where you’re hoping instead of receiving

C. Letting go of what drains you

The lack of resolution with David isn’t accidental. It’s your subconscious saying: “This story doesn’t end because it’s not meant to continue.”

D. Stepping into your own power

The flying vehicle is the antidote to the David scenes. It’s your subconscious showing you:

“You can rise. You can move forward. You can choose a life that feels whole.”

⭐ The dream’s overall message

Your subconscious is gently but firmly telling you:

You’re ready for a new chapter — one built on stability, reciprocity, and self-worth — but you’re still holding onto old emotional patterns that keep you grounded when you’re meant to fly.

It’s not a warning. It’s an invitation.

Therapy Blog - The Journey Begins

 Today the journey begins.

A journey of healing and a new me. 

1 Timothy 6:12 ESV

" Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 

Lord, 

I praise you.  Even though the darkness is closing in. Even though things in my life right now are all wrong, I will still praise you because your love is steadfast and you are faithful! Thank you for providing me a place to live and food to eat and a car to drive. And thank you for this time to spend with my parents because someday they will be gone. Help me not to take this time for granted. Thank you for this healing time. 

Lord, even though I am grateful for this time, I am still struggling to trust you when it comes to the job. It has been 3 months, and no one has hired me. I am feeling discouraged and rejected. Please forgive me for mishandling the jobs you allowed me to have in the past.  Please give me another chance and let someone hire me! I need a job!  I know that everything happens in your perfect timing. Forgive me for doubting you.  Please let me know if there is something that I am doing wrong.  It seems that everything I try to do falls apart. All I know to do is to keep applying and trust you. Lord, you know that I have previous bills that need to be paid off.  Ridgewood is saying that I have 60 days to start paying on my bill or they will turn me over to collections and report me to the credit bureau.  This could cause me to not be able to rent a new place when the time comes! Please help me, Lord! I need a job!   

Please give me your peace that passes all understanding!  I know you will find me a job!  Please provide provision for me! 

Please forgive me for breaking my lease and not paying what was due at the time. I should not have done that and I am sorry! 

Thank you for Jodi and for Grace Church!  Please let someone get in touch with me about volunteering!  

Please be with David.   Soften his heart and break down his pride and let him hear and know the truth of your word! I may not be able to be with him on earth, but I want to see him in heaven! Break the chains of his sexual addiction. Don't leave him alone! 

I pray for my son!  Open his ears, Lord!  Close his mind to the lies. Don't let them get in!  Please speak to him. Please keep him safe! 

I ask all this in Jesus Name 

Amen 

A new beginning. Leave the past. Embrace the present. Welcome the future. 

Therapy Blog -Fourth of July.

Saturday July 4, 2026

3 months since the breakup today.  And the Fourth of July.  Lord, please give me the strength to get through today! In Jesus name, Amen.  

I thought we would be spending this together. 

Happy Fourth of July. 

Miss you every day. 

Therapy Blog - Snakes and Dementia

 June 25, 2026

I saw my first rattle snake on the trail yesterday evening.  I came around a corner and I heard it.  The warning rattle.  The snake was in the grass a few feet from the trail.  The end of its tail was black and white striped.  A diamondback.  He didn't bother me.  Just gave me the one warning rattle.   He was probably laughing at me because when I heard the rattle, I stepped back. But the trail inclined behind me and so I stepped back and fell over!  LOL   But I was able to pass him with no problems.  He was just letting me know he was there.  I feel like I am going to be thinking of that snake now every time I go hiking for a while.   

I have accepted the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life.  I'm just too tired emotionally to worry about that. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore.  I still wish I could be with you though.  I still love you. I always will. It's been 2 and a half months now. I wonder what you are doing.  I bet you are already seeing someone new.  I won't let myself check your Facebook page.  Your profile pic still shows up on my page though and I hate that.  But I can't bring myself to unfriend you.  I try not to see it.  I don't want to know. I don't want to see your photo change to you and some new girl.   I wonder if you are seeing Erika now.  I know KC and Chastity wanted to set you up with her.  Or maybe you are back with Tammy. 

I don't want to know.  But I can't stop my brain speculating sometimes. 

April 11 was a horrible day.  The drive back was a nightmare.  I think I should have just rented a trailer and pulled it myself.  Everything would have been fine if it was just me and my mom. But my dad was there, and............... I don't even have words to describe it.  Everything seemed fine on the way from TorC to Socorro, except that he drove 40 miles an hour on I25.He thought he could drive the moving van.  We stopped at that steak place that you and I had eaten at.  I could barely eat I was so upset about leaving you.   Then after Socorro, it really got bad.  We were in three vehicles. My dad wouldn't go over 40.  It was so frustrating! And then we lost him.  He had decided to get gas and didn't tell us.  And when my mom finally got ahold of him, he said he was lost and was going back to the hotel in TorC ! We had to turn around and find him. And he was yelling and screaming because he was angry.   We ended up back in TorC at that McDonalds.  It took forever to get him to drive the truck again. Workers from McDonalds came out and stared at us.  My mom kept asking him if he wanted to just drive the car and she would drive the truck, but that made him even angrier because he thought that we thought that he couldn't do it.  (He couldn't!) Finally, we were on our way again.  But he was still driving 40 miles an hour in the truck. 

We decided that maybe we should go the back way because we were afraid that he wouldn't be able to handle going through ABQ.  He stopped twice on the way to Santa Rosa.  Just pulled off by the side of the road and sat there. I guess he was confused???   Anyway, we finally get to Santa Rosa and get on I40 and that's where it really got bad. Yeah, it got worse!  It was getting dark thanks to his driving at a snail's pace. We crept along. My mom and I kept speeding up but then we wouldn't be able to see him, so we'd stop on the side of the road and wait.  After a while my mom told me to just go on ahead. I did but then I get this call from my dad and he's screaming, "I'm lost I'm lost!" and then he hangs up. I try to call him back and he won't answer the phone.  So, I call my mom. She's flipping out and yelling. I stop at a truck stop and wait.  My mom can't find him.  So, I call 911. 

I get back on the highway and go back to where my mom has stopped. It's in Tucumcari at a Motel Six. She talks to the dispatcher and then to the state troopers. The dispatcher calls back and says that they are getting calls about a man driving west bound in the east bound lanes of I40! The troopers find him.  They pick him up and one of the troopers drives the moving van to Tucumcari. When they all get to Tucumcari with the van, my dad has the nerve to ask my mom why she called the police! I wanted to punch him in the face!  

We leave the van at the motel six in Tucumcari and drive back to Amarillo. What should have been a 6-hour drive took 14 hours! We finally pull in at 12:30 a.m. And I had my cats in the car with me!  And on top of that, I was seriously grieving over the breakup.  The next day my mom and I drive back to Tucumcari and get the van, and we unload it into the storage building with the help of my son. 

I want to get back together. I want to try again. I know I can do it.  

I know you'll never see this.  

You don't want me anymore. 

Come rescue me from this nightmare.  

Come love me. 

Therapy Blog - Anger

 Sunday 

05-31-2026

Yesterday I went and watched Backrooms with my son. I liked the movie a lot.  There was no resolution. And I think that was the best choice because if there had been resolution then the backrooms story would have died.  No resolution lets the story continue.

I bought some differin gel yesterday at Wal-Mart.  It comes in a box. When I got home, I opened the box and it was empty. Someone had stolen the product.  Now, I have to go to Wal-Mart again and see if they will let me get a new one. 

I want to write about 500 things, and I don't want to write at all.  

I'm angry because you got off free.  

Angry because I'm over here suffering and missing you. 

You are over there with your friends and your normal family.

Having a great time.  You probably feel so relieved that I'm gone. 

They've probably already set you up with someone new. 

I wish everyone knew what I knew.  

I still have the letter. I'm not going to lie .......

Sometimes I want to send it to everyone in that town. 

Just pick random addresses and send it .............

Find our who your new girl is and send it to her. 

I can't do it. I won't. Revenge is God's alone. 

Revenge for what anyway ........

Revenge or warning her ......

Did you act that way because of how I was acting   or 

is that your true self...........

Why did T end your engagement ....

Why did Karen break up with you 

Why was Jordie happy to let you go 

Why did you scream at me 

Why did you leave me in the driveway 

Why were you always criticizing me 

You hated it when K would say At least, you're pretty 

You hated it 

Why did you always say it to me 

I'm not stupid.  I was stupid with you 

I felt stupid, I had no confidence 

With you 

Well, I found myself again. 

Guess what?

I am pretty. 

I am intelligent. 

I have a great sense of humor. 

I am a child of God. 

I am a daughter of the King. 

I have good ideas. 

                                                                Never Again 

This is me healing. 

 

   

Therapy Blog - Navigating in the Dark

 May 30, 2026

Saturday 

What am I doing. 

I'm going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Its Grace Church.  Grace is a Calvary Chapel.  Have you seen the movie The Jesus Movement?   Google it.   Grace has a radio station called Radio by Grace. They play sermons from different pastors from different Calvary Chapels all over the United States. 

Yesterday I went hiking again. I hiked the CCC trail. Its starts at the bottom of the canyon and goes to the rim. Well, the trail actually starts at the top at the visitor center and goes down to the canyon floor. But I start at the bottom and go up to the visitor's center and then go back down.  I would rather get the uphill over with first. The hike is a really good workout and has awesome views. 

I found a rock or something. It was sticking out of the canyon wall.  It looks like a small clay disc. I don't know if it's a concretion or a pottery game piece from a long time ago, or what. I will include a photo.  I'm writing this because after I found it, I realized all over again that I don't have you anymore. I can't show you the rock. And I really want to. So, I was hiking and crying.  We used to hunt for rocks together. It was so much fun. I left all the rocks we found at your place when I left. I wish I had kept them.  

I want my jewelry box and my earrings you bought me for Valentines Day.  I want my hat. I want the notebook from when you were in MDC.  I want the Pano art you made for me!  I wish I hadn't left all that stuff behind.  I wish I could tell you to send it to me.  

I wish you would come and tell me to come back.  I wish you would .............  I wish 

Fight for me...... Did you ever truly love me?   Throw caution to the wind.... Tell everyone you don't 

care what they think ........ you love me and everything is going to work out ......... Everything would 

have eventually worked out.  Your friends always came before me.  What your friends thought....

their feelings mattered ........................  mine never did.